WORKING WITH DIFFICULT CO-WORKERS

By Wendy Oliveras on Wednesday, October 21 2009

Have you ever worked with someone who made your day at work a living hell?  Well, many years ago, I did.  Let me tell you how difficult it was for me to look forward to going to work.  My stomach turns just thinking about it now.  This co-worker was always in a bad mood, tardy, lazy, and hostile.  As a result, I felt completely stressed out.  I remember asking myself, how can one person have such power over others and create such friction and toxicity in the workplace?  Luckily, however, this person moved to another state, so I did not have to leave my job.  But sometimes, there can be even more than one toxic co-worker in your office or department.  So, what do you do?

The reality is that we all have flaws and working with difficult co-workers is a commonality in the workplace.  The key is to identify the toxic co-worker(s) and try to understand where this behavior is coming from.  Although there is no excuse for anyone treating others with disrespect or creating unnecessary problems at work, the truth of the matter is that their personal problems consume them.  They obviously need help with coping with their issues.

Regardless, let’s consider that there are many underlying reasons which create difficult co-workers.  Your concern should be mainly on how that co-worker’s behavior is affecting you and what you can do about it.  Is it not true that happy people promote congeniality in their work environment, while unhappy people, whether intentional or not, create unnecessary difficult working relationships with others?  There are many people who just do not like to be told what or how to do their jobs.  The bottom line is that toxic co-worker(s) are detrimental to the growth of a company.  That said, working with difficult co-workers is a challenge, but there are some positive and proactive steps you can take in coping with this type of stressful situation.

• Be professional about your responses to a toxic co-worker(s).

• Be patient and try to understand that this negative behavior is coming from somewhere that has nothing to do with you.

• Avoid confrontations as much as possible.

• Keep your cool!  Control your emotions and do not allow yourself to get caught up in unnecessary arguments or confrontations.  Remember that you are at work, and this is a place of business!

• Be honest and speak to someone in human resources, your supervisor, manager, or upper management about what is occurring and how it is affecting you.  The good thing is that there are rules and regulations which management and human resources rely upon when dealing with such difficult employees.  So, hopefully, the difficult employee can be dealt with directly without you getting involved.

• Depending on the circumstances, if things really get out of hand and you have exhausted all other measures to get help in handling your situation, maybe you should consider finding a more suitable place to work or speak to an attorney for advice in weighing your legal options.     

Regardless of where you work, however, never accept working in an uncomfortable or harmful environment.  Talk to your boss and identify the toxic co-worker(s), as well as describe how this negative behavior is affecting you and those you work with.  Do not be afraid to express how this difficult co-worker(s) is causing low moral and productivity in your workplace.  By not speaking up, you are only enabling and perpetuating the stressful circumstances that a difficult co-worker(s) can promote.  Totally not worth it!     

Wendy Oliveras is a columnist, author, search consultant, and career planning and development advisor. She can be reached at either (201) 947-6662 or via email wo@oliverascoinc.com.  Please also visit me at http://www.twitter.com/wendyoliveras or http://www.linkedin/in/wendyoliveras.

To view my previous articles, please visit http://www.examiner.com/x-22670-NY-Search-Consultant-Examiner.  Thanks.